Nobody wants an ungrateful daughter. Nobody would want me. Nobody should ever deserve me as a child. Well, good thing my father left me in the first place. He didn't get to experience the burden of having me as a daughter. Unfortunately for you, you had no choice.
I don't deserve to be loved. Not when I can only love my self. Sometimes I wish I wasn't born into this world, so that I don't hurt those around me, so I don't cause pain to the people who cares for me. But no one should care for me, no one should care for a selfish monster.
I wish I could disappear, erase my existence, then never go back. I wish I could be a better person. I wish I could be better for you. I wish I would never be the reason why you want to die, why you don't want to keep fighting. I want to be the reason why you want to live, your source of strength.
All my life I thought I was making you proud. I wanted to make you proud. But for all those times I'm making you upset, I'm letting you down. I'm letting myself down.
I hope you can see this before I go; before you go. There's nothing wrong with you. You've given me everything and more. And I thank you for that. But sorry I can never be who you want me to be. Because everything's wrong with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment